I AM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO DROWN MYSELF! 

YOU CAN TRY THIS AT HOME! 

YOU CAN BE ... 

JUST...

LIKE.... 

ME!!! 

[[The fans go estatic as "Role Model" by Eminem blares over the PA System. The man looks in awe towards the isle and releases Jeff Jericho from his clutch. Jon "The Diggity" Jericho is running down on the runway, wearing casual jeans and an old TSC t-shirt. Jeff Jericho gets a big smile on his face as The Diggity slides in the ring and the maniac in haniball mask percautiously takes a step back.]]

TT: JON JERICHO IS IN THE CWF RING!!!

BC: Boo fucking hoo...another Jericho! 

TT: THIS IS AMAZING! THE BROTHERS ARE REUNITED! 

[[Jon takes a stand next to his brother. He goes to hug him and they do as the man in the haniball mask quickly intervenes and goes to attack the brothers reunited.]]

BC: OH MY GOD!!! 

[[The Diggity conviniently turns his brother's back towards the attacker as "Haniball" spears Jeff Jericho in the back of his lower spine. Jeff Jericho goes down, while Jon steps out of the way and looks the assilant with a perplexed eye...]]

TT: Another staredown on Crimson Destiny. 

BC: WILL THE GOOSE KICK ME SILLY!!! THIS WAS ALL A SET-UP! JON JERICHO HAS SET-UP HIS BROTHER AND IS NOW HUGGING WITH THE MAN FROM PRISON.

[[Fans boo as The Diggity picks his brother from the floor. He smacks him in the face as the crowd cheers and pushes him towards his partner.]]

TT: OH MY GOD!!! Is this possible?? 

[[The man grabs Jeff Jericho and plants him to the floor with....]]

BC: HCH!!! IS THIS POSSIBLE? HIGH CLASS HANGOVER! THIS CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING, PEOPLE! 

[[The man takes off his mask to reveal...]]

TT: THE FUCKING FRANCHISE, RYAN JONES IS BACK AND HE'S NOT BACK IN THE IW, BUT HE'S RIGHT HERE IN THE CWF!!! 
 

[The camera is focused on a TV set, replaying the momment that has changed the CWF as we know it. The return of The Franchise Class. Finally some competition in the land of XXX's World Title City. We pan out to see the setting that we haven't seen in ages. There is a luxorious mahagony couch in the middle of the room, with the home cinema set infront. Jon Jericho is slouching on the couch, his hand hanging off with a remote control in his fist. We are in Jericho's house in Charlotte, living room to be exact. It's a spacious house with high ceilings... the style of the house is traditionaly modern. Although the two terms exclude eachother by default, the house is something special. But you know what else is special? The fact that your fucking Role Model is sitting infront of the camera and that he's back in the Classic Wrestling Federation. The federation where the Unified title should be called The Diggity title. As Jericho is grinning, watcing the High Class Hangover on his brother over and over....and over... a slender woman walks into the room. What? Did you expect a Jon Jericho promo without good bitches? GTFO with that! The camera has gotten an image of her from behind. Although we don't know who she is yet, it's safe to say she's fucking gorgeous. Hideous bitches feature only in Paul Blair or Jeff Jericho videos (If it was too transparent..that was a shot at Jennifer). She's wearing a tight top and a pair of white sporty pants that really bring out the perfect, peachy, shape of the adorable ass. If this was your classic WB cartoon, a wolf would sit at the table, dropping his jaw. Anyway...enter the matrix effect. We spin 360 degrees to see the front of this one thing that fits well on the backseat of Jon's car. Fuck me Sally... it's Chasey Jericho-Duarte, the hated ex-wife of Jon. They always had this love-hate relationship. However..this time she's carrying a tray with two long neckked red wine glasses. She offers a glass to Jon and takes the other one herslef. Jericho sits up as she takes a seat next to him and cuddles up in his arms. They put the glasses together.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - To second chances...

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Indeed! To us and to your revival of your wrestling career.

[Aw, how cute. Let's not forget this was the bitch who tricked Jon into marrying him, who slipped him a fucking pill! She then tried to take every dime he had to his name and left him for... you won't believe this.... BRANDON "I have gap between my teeth and my ears are pointy" REIGNS! Fucking gold digger. But now she's back in Jericho's arms. You know what... keep your friends close and enemies closer... is that what Jericho is doing here? As they drink their wine and look hold eachother, their affection seems legit. ]

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - So this is it huh, honey? We're back in the world of treachery, backstabbings, screw-ups, kidnappings and everything that is basically evil?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Wow...interesting selection of words. I get a feeling you don't like my coming back.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Well, just remember what happened to us when we met in that world. And after we both disappeared from the world of wrestling, the destiny brought us together. I had to do civil service and you drove your car into the carwash...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - That was the best make up sex of my life....

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Yea, but that's not what I was saying...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - I know ... but I'm just trying to brighten the mood. Look, nothing can break us appart now. We've dealt with your father. He won't be coming back from where he is.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - I know. It's hard to swim with cement shoes. But...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - But what babes? The only butts I wanna hear is your butt cheeks slapping my upper thighs. Look.. the two of us, plus Ryan Jones... we're the masterminds of this world. Nothing can bring us down.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - And Stan?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Forget the Asian. He's just somebody to molest, so the innocent bystanders don't get abused everytime. He's harmless.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - He's harmless for me.. but he is from San Francisco. What I am saying here, Jon... is this an enviroment you want to bring our baby in?

[WHAT?]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - WHAT?

[Jon starts coughing as the shock caused wine to get into his windpipe.]

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - I was at the doctors' office earlier sweetheart. I'm pregnant.

[Can you imagine... one of the cockiest motherfuckers alive...somebody whose ego is far bigger than his stature, to become a father? I've always thought this day would happen when he was 40... like Jeff is now... You know at that point you've done what you were destined and your career goes down like Jennifer's boobs after years of gravity start kicking in. Jericho gathers himself..]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Honey...that's fantastic!

[This is a romantic momment as the couple kisses for so long we can actually hear bells ringing.]

DING

DONG..

[Wait a minute. That's not a sound effect. That's somebody standing at the door, ringing the doorbell. As the slobbing on the couch is brought to an abrupt halt, Jon wipes the saliva off his face.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - I'll go...

[Jon walks from the couch across the spacious room over to the hallway and the main door. He opens the door to see a FedEx guy holding a big envelope, a clipboard and a pen...]

FedEx Guy: Mr. Jericho...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Indeed...

FedEx: Will you sign here?

[Jericho takes the clipboard and gets ready to sign it...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - What is this?

FedEx: I don't know. Ummm...[hesitates] I dunno if you wanna know this, but there's a group of people holding TSC signs and calling out Jon Jericho.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - What? Really? I guess I should go and respond to the challenge. Thanks man...

[Jericho closes the door and walks back to the living room, flipping through the documents he just recieved...]

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - What was that about?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Umm...some papers from my lawyer. I made a bid for my brother's house and this is the documentation...

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Are we getting a new house and moving to...err... Florida or wherever Jeff's from?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - No, but I will by that house just to spite Jeff. Even if I make it into a dumping site. Hmmm... if I think about it... that might not be a half bad idea...

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Jon don't be stupid here... it's a beautiful house...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - With my trust fond, yes I was the loved son, I could buy two houses like that ....and that's the 1/16 of my current assests.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Yeah... I see I didn't take enough in our divorce settling...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Oh yea... remind me before we get married...you'll sign a pre-naptual agreement.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - What?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Well...I'm sorry... but I learned a lot the last time...

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Who said we're getting married?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Aren't we? We are having a kid anyway...

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - I'm not signing a pre-naptual agreement!

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Yes you are.

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Fuck you!

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Was that an invitation?

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - No that was me telling your materialistic ass to get out of my face...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Wait... you don't want to sign the agreement and I'm materialistic ass?

Chasey Jericho-Duarte - Indeed.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Ah...

[Chasey, obviously offended by Jon's request, furiously leaves the room as Jon sits back on the sofa...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - And we're not even getting married. Yet. Women... is there anyone who can understand them?

[He gets up and nervously paces around the room...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Oh... right. The TSC supporters.

[Jon Jericho takes a jacket, puts it on and goes out on the street. Walking on foot, he comes to the first intersection. Diggs' house is the only one in the area and camping infront of his driveway is a group of three TSC fanatics. They're chanting the names of their favourite wrestlers, or maybe they're just here supporting the new underground porn community. With letters "XXX" written on their signs only a selected few will know it's a name of an artificially popular wrestler.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - How 'bout you get off my property, eh?

[Cans and tomatoes start flying in Jon's direction. Don't be thinking "tomato shower"...after all, there are three people, one of them being a woman, who can't throw a tomato anyway. Anyway as said, there are three people there. An obese black guy, a really fat bald guy and even a bigger hispanic woman. See the pattern here? No? Only fat people look up to XXX and the TSC! But what is wrong with fat people you ask? Nothing is wrong with fat people. But anybody that supports TSC is stuck back in the 1999, meaning... stuck in elementary school. And our triad is no different. Hence the witty comeback line. The kind we can witness in every XXX or Paul Blair promo.]

Big obese black guy: How 'bout you make us?

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Yes, as much as I wish I would have a buldozer parked in my back yard, unfortunately, I don't. But get the fuck out of here before I take a god damn gun and make you run on a carpet strip!

Even bigger hispanic woman: Fat jokes! How clever.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - No. 'Clever' would be a term used to describe every man from your past who had enough reason to split BEFORE you decided to eat him for appetizer.

[The woman, obviously left surprised by the statement, opens her mouth wide as an expression of obvious shock...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - And please... I know this is your cum-guzzling expression, but for the love of everything that I had eaten in the last seven days.. DON'T MAKE ME SICK!

Even bigger hispanic woman: You know if I wasn't such a big person...

[Jon cuts in...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - You wouldn't have sat on your german shephard?

[The momment of truth. Woman looks in dispair as the men stand firmly behind her. It's gonna blow over any second now...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Oh shit...

[Suddenly... Jericho is hit with a tomato...square in the nuts...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho [holding his balls] - So you wanna get dirty, huh?

[Jon turns and abruptly leaves towards his house. Conspiring in his mind on the revenge, he walks into the garage. He looks around. Voices of the three TSC fans are still heard, however the chant of the minute seems to be "Diggity sucks". Yes, imagine the braincell capacity the TSC fans must have to come out with nothing but cliche lines.. Anyway as Jon looks around, he tries to find something a generic TSC fan would be terrified of. And thus the idea comes upon seeing the water hose.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho [evil grin] Oh, it's time to wash the dirt of my pavement...

[Jon walks out holding a hose, but before going out of the garage, he almost stumbles upon a big container of pesticides.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Hmmm... this could be dangerous...[evil grin] But then again... it might help them lose some weight when they're throwing up in the hospital....

[Jon takes one side of the hose and connects it through a pump on the big container of pesticides...He smiles into the camera like he was starring in some cheesy commercial. He even has the cheezy catchphrase.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - When killing pests becomes easy...

[Jericho walks out with a hose in hand. The group thinks it's just a regular water hose, so they don't even budge... at first. But when the green liquid is sprayed over the gang of the lowest common denominatiors between a human being and an ape, the hard to believed successors screamingly run for their lives. Satisfied, Jon stops spraying the poisonous fluid and leaves with a smirk.]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - That should teach them two things. Not to fuck with me and... NEVER to fuck with me.

[With this said, Jon walks into his backyard and looks for a place to sit down. There are a few benches, a swimming pool, but Jon decides to walk towards the statue of...himself. He sits on the marble pedestal beneath and confidently looks in the camera. It's THAT time...]

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Dum, dum, dum... guess who's back? It's great to be back in the CWF for one more run. And especially with my good old friend Ryan Jones. Now, unlike Triple-X's fixed match outcomes, our return was actually a surprise. The swerve that the current CWF roster, minus the TFC, isn't capable of even imagining, not to even mention orchestrating. I bet most of all people, my brother was just thrilled to see me. At least for the first 35 seconds, before I pushed him in the hands of The Franchise. Jeffrey, I will never forget that look. The look of betrayal. It's a funny coincidence, though, isn't it? After you had done it to countless other suckers, it fells odd to be on the receiving end for a change. [chuckles] Now I'm sure this is not the end of a bitter brother rivalry to be the best, but Jeff, don't underestimate me. I know everything you thought me, plus an extra bonus I learned after I decided to spread my wings and leave the corruption dubbed CWF behind. Isn't it funny, though, how I come back to CWF after almost 5 years and still the same two people are on top. Still Triple-X is clutching that title as it's the only connection to his peak years that are, by the way, long gone and my brother who never tried to hide his business aspirations. Newsflash, Shelly... you have to pay the taxes. And don't give us the "I was framed" excuse, cause, frankly Jeff, me and the entire Jericho familly, have heard them just about everytime you did something stupid. This time it's serious, huh? I guess I should thank you for my new warehouse, though...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - It's time to move on, though. Like I did years ago when I decided to further my career by going to other promotions. And while Triple-X can't see past the Diggity in the Unified Title division, I indeed have something in common with my partner in crime, Ryan Jones. We both have been called the best of what SWF had to offer at that one point in time. What the SWF in it's prime meant to the wrestling world is not debatable. But what is strikening is that the self-proclaimed biggest mark in the business never even attempted to succeed in the SWF. Why was that? Whatever the reason may be, the fact is simple. Justin Thames just made the move that will ensure this company to survive. The hardships are over, because when a promotion can draw two superstars of TFC calibre, the rest of the roster fades in the contrasdt with the bright glow that we in fact carry with us.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Triple-X for all I care at this momment, you might as well stay the World Champion until one of us wants to get his hands on the title. It's all a matter of choice, not fear like you obviously console yourself. We know what we're up against and we made an aware decision that pinning your ass to a fucking cross, burning a fire beneath your feet and watching you burn is what we wanna do. But don't think this is only about you! It's not. Next to your cross, we wanna see every pathetic little man that is hidding behind the letters "TSC" nailed down to their own crosses and share their destiny with you. Wow, hear me out, I sound like Z-Pac talking about destiny. Let's put it in a simpler form so you don't have to call your speech writer to translate: we're bringing you down. Seeing how pathetic the CWF roster has been so far, it was expected that you would get a tad bit cocky. You'll get your share, don't worry.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - It's quite extraordinary how you think you know me, X. When I came to CWF, I was fresh from HCW and still very fucking wet under my nose. I didn't expect anything. But being a Jericho it seemed like a good idea to try to benefit from it. Except, after being the beneficiary at first, things began to tumble. MY talent by far exceeded my brother, but yes, because of the way I came in the CWF, I was only the little brother. I was too naive and I was afraid to cross my darling brother because of the solidarity I felt towards him. And the feeling that I owed him for helping me break through. Slowly though, I began to stand on my own two feet and use my own head. Unified titles weren't enough and it was time to move on. If I though I'd get a fair chance in CWF I would have stayed, turned you into minced meat, pack you in cans and make XXX a nationwide brand. You know I have the talent and the abillity and you on the other hand... you'd make a delicious snack for my Rotweiler.

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - Paul Blair. There is not much to talk about here. Everytime I come even close to you, I'm bound to fight you, for some odd reason. Even though you were on seven zillion "retirement tours" you're still around and you're still fighting the Jericho's and the Triple-X's of this company. What the fuck? When will you learn to call it quits? What do you have to prove? Jennifer left you under the "I've been kidnapped" pretences, so Chemical X is "givin it" to her now... you failed in that department. You'll get your ass served for dinner for the next three weeks, and it will be applied through a straw directly into your stomach, because after Confessions, you won't be able to chew on anything half-solid.... so you failed in that department as well. So name one good thing that you did while I was not around? Hmmm...maybe losing your virginity, but most people do that in their twenties, not forties...

"Mr. Main Event" Jonathan Jericho - What you did with your last promo is shown me how far you HAVEN'T progressed. Making fun of people's nicknames is a sport for kindergarteners and I'd put my hand into a fireplace and claim that they would come up with something better than "Quadruple X" and "Bluest Ballz". But you never were a man of imagination, nor a man of words, were you Paul. You never could get inside my head, Paulie. But somehow, every now and then, you managed to get lucky and somehow pull a fast one on me. Fuck it, shit happens. But not over and over again. The Confessions is another story and Crimson Destiny was the start of a new era. The era of TFC. Paulie, it's time to put away those custom made trading cards and it's time to lace it up against the best of what this biz has to offer. And once you're in there, only talent or knowledge can save you. Not the cheesy lines, not the "funny" cards...and the least of all ...not even your partner. Now before I go back inside, you tools just remember...
 
 

[The scene fades as Jericho walks back in his house.]